Last night was a very special evening. Cocoa ceremony and a reclining concert with the theme of grieving, a tribute. Noud van der Bas did a live rendition of “The Cycle of Grief”.
When I saw the event in the Farm of Inspiration app group, I immediately knew that I had to go there. It was advertised with “Bereavement: a tribute” and “An evening dedicated to bereavement”. Well, I could use some help with that, because I don’t think enough about the process. I hadn’t really read up on the rest because I thought: I’ll see. I could use anything related to that subject.
Rest
Traveled to Diemen together with Mimmie and Amanda. The Boerderie has a large living room where everyone is welcomed with a cup of tea. I have been there before, a special location. Before you entered the room you were smudged. Quiet music, soft light through all the candles and mattresses with lots of pillows. Just settle down, a word in advance and a mega cup of cocoa. I felt wonderfully calm, it was nice and warm and it just felt good.
Grief is a lonely process, but here we do it together.
Grief processing can be because of something or someone you have lost. But it is also your own process, your strength and your growth. Everyone was allowed to bring something for his or her theme and place it on the altar. I brought a shawl that I had bought for my mother. I intended to place it over myself, but it was warm enough in the room that I placed it on the altar with my necklace on top anyway. Someone said: Grief is a lonely process, but here we do it together. I liked it so much that I wrote it down.
Writing
Pen and paper, that always makes me happy. On the top part of the page you could write a wish about the theme. On the bottom half you could write whatever you wished for yourself. As soon as I really started thinking seriously, tears streamed down my cheeks. I never really think about these kinds of things, but I really enjoyed doing it. We were allowed to share what we wrote, but we didn’t have to. You could also place the folded piece of paper on the altar and light a candle. This is what I wrote down = Mommy: Still feeling love. Loving memories. Eternal connection. For myself: Trust. Share by writing. Nice process. Enjoy the memories.
The Cycle of Grief, an intense musical journey
We were allowed to lie down. Mattress, pillow, blanket. The three of us lay next to each other. It was really a musical journey rather than listening to music because they weren’t songs with lyrics. They were sounds, cries, words that took us through the various phases of mourning. The five stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. So it started very quietly. Anger was shouting, loud noises. I was really drawn into it. During negotiation, or the ‘what if’ phase, we heard small sentences such as: What if, what if I, what if we…. Recognizable phase. Depression, of course, was dark, deep, raw. And finally it moved into the phase of acceptance. Loving, positivity. I cried like crazy non-stop. It was so nice to go through all the phases. Halfway through someone sat next to me, so I didn’t feel so alone. Afterwards I thanked him for this. I’m glad I went, this was so special.
You can listen to the live rendition of “The Cycle of Grief” by Noud van der Bas here => Youtube
