Writing Assignment #126: A moment when I got lost, from 365 days of writing.
In May 2024, I had a moment when I got lost. I had been on autopilot for so long that I had steamrolled over myself. All my boundaries and all my emotions were completely flattened, wiped out, swept off the map.
I was literally lost, in a world of sadness and helplessness, because I finally had time to stand still. Standing still after all those months of putting others first. Which was only logical, because both my parents were dying. I wouldn’t have done it any other way, because I am incredibly happy with what I was able to do for them and all the moments we had together.
The moment I no longer knew how to turn on the washing machine, I knew I had to hit the brakes. There was no other option. Slow down, completely back to basics. My practice assistant taught me to ask myself several times a day: What do I need at this moment? The answer was always the same: Rest. Just do nothing for a while. Although that is much easier said than done.
Driving turned out to be an impossible task, because I had no idea what I was doing. Just like in the supermarket.
That was a moment when I got lost. Really lost. I never want to feel that way again. Next time there is a crisis, I will try to ask myself from time to time: What do I need at this moment?