We went to the emergency room for neck pain, but suddenly our daughter almost slipped away and was in hospital for an emergency surgery.
Writing assignment #61
At the end of 2014, all four of us were very sick with the flu. We all had a sore throat and we all felt lousy. That’s how we spent the days on the couch, hanging out a bit. The oldest was 4 years old at the time and the youngest was 1 year old. At the beginning of the evening we all wanted to go to bed. The eldest was curled up on the couch, saying she had a pain in her throat and tilting her head slightly. She did indeed have a slightly thicker throat on one side, but no alarm bells went off for me and I was also very ill. My sick husband went to the emergency room to have it looked at. He thought antibiotics and done. He didn’t even have his wallet with him, parked where he wasn’t allowed to park (because he forgot his wallet) and his cell phone was almost empty. In the meantime we went to bed. And then …
Examinations
She had to stay for examinations and was given a bed. She slept well between all the examinations. My husband was very ill (real men’s flu) sitting on a folding chair next to the bed. In the end she even had to go through the CT scan. Of course, the results took forever to arrive and hours had already passed. I think it was about 1am. And then …
Alarm
Urgently taken by ambulance to the VU in Amsterdam. Called doctor from bed. No time for training to put on gas hood. My husband had to put the cap on her. She had no idea what was going to happen, so she was in complete panic. 30 minutes under the knife, the doctor said.
Waiting
That wait was long, especially for my husband. He just sat there, in the middle of the night, completely overwhelmed by everything, and sick himself. Fortunately, his parents had also come. (After they first came to my house to get his wallet and charger, and dropped me at the car.) Those 30 minutes turned into 60 minutes. Those 60 minutes turned into 90 minutes. And then finally someone came, it went well. She had a rapidly growing abscess in her neck that was closing her carotid artery. First they made an incision from the outside to reach the abscess, but that was not successful. Then they had to operate from inside her throat. In that little neck, with so many tendons, veins and nerves. But it had worked. When she came out of anesthesia she was in complete panic.
Intake
She had to stay in the hospital for more than a week because she was being tube fed. Of course, her throat had to heal from within first. She found nothing through tube feeding. That was such a cold and heavy splash on her little stomach. And she wasn’t a big eater. She got better and better and even went to the craft room. There she was, my little girl on a pole.
Changing of the Guard
My husband and I took turns halfway through the day. Sometimes I stayed over and other times he stayed over. The youngest stayed with the one who went to sleep at home. Sleeping in the hospital was horrible. She woke up constantly crying. She was wracked with fear. Only just before her discharge did the doctor indicate that the past had been very tense due to infections. That our daughter was over the edge. Fortunately we never knew that.
Nightmares
At home the nightmares continued. It was as if she wasn’t really awake when we woke her up to comfort her. Responding lovingly, responding angrily, nothing helped. Just holding her and letting her go helped somewhat. It always took at least fifteen minutes, several times a night. I wanted to give her time to recover on her own, but after more than a year I called for help and she had EMDR. She was not open to it at all, but after 1.5 years the nightmares were finally over.