Not yesterday, not tomorrow, not at the end of your life, but now. What my voice says today is something completely different than yesterday.
Writing assignment #43
It doesn’t always work
I am usually very positive, but at the moment my voice is not so positive. Nothing has been working out at work lately and it’s making me irritated. Because we don’t have a backend developer, I can’t solve all kinds of problems. I really try to do as much as possible, but there are some things I just can’t do. And that means issues take far too long and I have to disappoint customers and I don’t like that. It’s just beyond my control and I hope someone gets hired soon.
Not very well
My father is also not doing well at the moment. He retains fluid, has inflammation and a big belly with blue spots. That is also worrying.
And we had our Sheba put to sleep last Friday, which was of course super sad and we miss her so much now. It always leaves such a void when someone is gone. I still miss my mother very much. On the one hand, it is not really missing, but more that it is just not right, as if a piece is missing.
Right now I have a bad stomach ache. No idea why. I have been suffering from this more often lately and I have already been completely examined with a photo and an ultrasound, but there is nothing wrong. So it’s just unconscious stress, I think. Well, what else could it be? I’m just tired, I don’t really feel like doing anything and I could cry. Doesn’t sound very good, does it? Hopefully not another burnout, I’ve had enough. But I just can’t stand everything that’s happening in my life at the moment, sometimes it’s just too much and that’s what my voice says today. So let me just get this off my chest. I shed a few tears and then I feel a little relieved.